Gremlin

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

A gremlin’s meddling in state affairs.
He lives beneath the White House stairs
in a cupboard stocked with fake tan jars
and shelves of tarnished samovars.

He creeps out at the witching hour
to sabotage the wheels of power
and make them turn the way he chooses.
And how his puppetry amuses!

The Gremlin’s own Petrushka doll,
a clown hand-carved to play this role.
A wooden, empty-headed thing!
See him dance as he pulls the strings.

What To Do in the Event of a Gun Attack

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

They are hiding under desks again
The school bell rings, the bullets rain
So say a prayer
And offer your condolences.

They are living out the lockdown drill
They are breathing in and keeping still
So send a tweet
And say a prayer
And offer your condolences.

They are lying in the corridors
In the classrooms, gym, and old school hall
So play a round of golf
And send a tweet
And say a prayer
And offer your condolences.

They are laying down the flowers again
Next month they will do the same
So just do fuck all
And play a round of golf
And send a tweet
And say a prayer
And offer your condolences.

A Brief History of the #

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

#barcamp #hashtag #FF #best
#wordgame #punfun #trulyblessed
#dingdong #romcom# #HaveYourSay
#pingpong #nomnom #EdBallsDay

#haiku #selfie #squadgoals #hope
#OneDirection #favouritesoap
#BlackLivesMatter #ReachOut #JoinIn
#Sponsored #Starbucks #BurgerKing

#JeSuisCharlie #LoveNotHate
#Strictly #Cecil #Oink #PigGate
#Bowie #UKIP #FoodbankQueues
#Brexit #AltRight #Trump #FakeNews

#Putin #Brexit #NorthKorea
#Trump #Covfefe #GrowingFear
#GBBOonChannel4
#Trump #RedButton #ThirdWorldWar

#Pyongyang #Seoul #NewYork #Berlin
#Brexit #Beirut #Beijing #Turin
#FallOut #Famine #DeathCount #Violence
#JeSuisEarth #JeSuisSilence

Out of the Rain

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

We ran down the high street and into the pub,
as we cheated the rain that fell from above,
dodging the puddles that had formed on the floor.
Such a beautiful day for a nuclear war.

You draped your wet coat on the back of your chair,
We emptied our drinks. The rain dripped from your hair.
A Guinness. A whiskey. Then I went back for more.
What a beautiful day for a nuclear war.

We talked. Pop songs. First pets. Favourite film stars.
We flicked pistachio shells into a jar.
You tried not to yawn. You must have thought me a bore.
It was a beautiful day for a nuclear war.

The days have changed now but I keep that one apart.
I carry it with me, tattooed on my heart.
The Guinness. Your wet hair. The dress that that you wore.
Such a beautiful day for a nuclear war.

CTRL ALT-RIGHT DEL

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

The world lurches, a violent SHIFT
the RETURN of Nazis to our streets.
But do not let it get you ,
press CTRL ALT → DEL.

Fascism should serve no Fn.
It’s an ugly BACKSPACE into history.
We must be > the hatred,
to ESC we have the key.

Keep upon intolerance.
Send racism into retreat.
To END hate, we need to INSERT love
and press CTRL ALT → DEL.

The White House

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

They’re redecorating the White House
in washed-out tones of white,
Moon Shimmer and Frosted Dawn,
Rock Salt and Morning Light.

Bleached Lichen in the kitchen.
The bedrooms – White Mist’s the plan.
The Oval Office is Absolute White.
All painted by the Du Lux Klan.

Crimeweave

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

upon retiring
from the mafia,
Don Corleone
wove aquatic mammals
out of raffia

i learnt this news
when he made me an otter
i couldn’t refuse