Clive’s a brass-knocker examiner,
A doughty door-hammerer,
Selling Wikipedia Britannica
With suburban street stamina.

He goes from door to door.
His feet feel sore and raw.
He’s just turned forty-four,
More or less (for less is more).

He’s a doorstep smash-and-grabber
A gilt-edged gift of the gabber,
He got the moves, he got the glamour,
He got more jabber than MC hammer.

To Clive there can be nothing easier
Than selling self-authored pseudo-academia,
Fifty leather-bound laptops of Wikipedia,
With a month’s free access to Virgin Media.