She’s Opted Out of Me

Assorted Poems, Some poems

She’s unsubscribed from all my lists.
She tells me I will not be missed.
She’d only joined when she was pissed.
She’s opted out of me.

She’s updated all her preferences.
She’s removed me from her references.
She can’t see what my relevance is.
She’s opted out of me.

She says that she is sick of me.
She claims she wants some privacy.
I’ve opted into misery
Now she’s opted out of me.

Updates to my Privacy Policy

Assorted Poems, Some poems

I am updating my Privacy Policy
as part of my ongoing commitment
to not being found,

using simple-to-understand language,
such as please go away
and just leave me alone.

I will not share myself with third parties,
dinner parties or fancy dress parties.
For offers of free biscuits,

please consult my Cookie Policy.
My privacy is important to me
as is this duvet.

You are receiving this poem
because you have expressed an interest
in receiving this poem.

You can unsubscribe from this poem
at any time, by clicking here.