Please take these words for I need them not
Assorted Poems, Selected poems
words
Com ppance
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsThings work both ways, of course.
And so the EU left our language,
waited not for any half-mumbled logy,
bade no adi .
And the rosceptics,
felt no phoria,
outmano vred as they were.
Words found themselves misconstrued.
There were bitter f ds
raised fists, Fr dian slips,
few remained n tral.
Unemployment rose –
amongst mass rs, chauff rs, n roscientists –
and mus ms closed.
The country got roomier
and rh mier,
a mausol m to memories of imperial grand r,
mixing racial slurs
with a sip from a glass of Pimms
and a snip of secat rs.
Best seen, not heard
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsWriting poems which rhyme can be tricky and tough
for words often look like they’re from the same bough,
yet the end of each line sounds quite different, though,
and best hidden behind a hiccough or cough.
I wonder, did this bother Byron or Yeats?
Or Larkin or Wordsworth, Auden or Keats?
Were opportunities presented or simply just threats?
Could they think up their rhymes without caveats?
But what should it matter when all’s said and done
if you should read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime for which you need to atone;
it would all be baloney to an abalone.
So perhaps I should not be quite so afeard.
Some poems are best seen rather than heard.
A Night on the Tiles
Assorted Poems, Selected poems
Comma
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsHow, great,
to, be, a, comma,
and, separate,
one, word, fromma,
nother.
Exclamation Mark!
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsMark was his name!
He would shout and proclaim!
Every sentence he wrote
would end just the same!
He would assert! He would blurt!
He would ejaculate and spurt!
Each line was a screamer!
A gasper! A slammer! A shrieker!
A literary loudspeaker!!!
Frankly, it all began to needle and nark!
Why did no one think to question Mark?
The Pedents’ Re-volt
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsIts not eazy being a pedent
correcting others’ mis-takes all daylong
My freinds and me are totally sic
of observing gramma witch has gone wrong.
“Whom are these language offenders”?,
“could it be that I maybe one, to”
Their ignorant; stupid, and careless:
off gramma they have’nt a clue.
They’re speling is sutch an embarrasment
its’ amature, wired, and, abserd,
comprized of neither thought or intelligance,
to a dictionary they should of refered.
Writing down there awkwardly formed sentences,
the participle clauses are left dangling.
just made one less mistake each would have the affect
to dramatically reduce this language mangling.
Word Crunching
Assorted Poems, Selected poems
Logomachy
Assorted Poems, Selected poemsTo say that Damian
was sesquipedalian
would be an understatement
for there was no abatement
in his capacity for loquacity
nor lack of temerity
in his pursuit
of verbal dexterity.
It was precisely this pomposity
mixed with verbosity
which made him describe
Kieran Thomas as “crepuscular”.
Kieran Thomas was also more muscular.
Damian nursed his black eye
and hoped Kieran
might be struck down with
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis.
The Power of a Homophone
Assorted Poems, Selected poems“Sometimes the power
of a homophone
comes out of nowhere
and hits you,
like being struck
by a ten ton truck”,
articulated Laurie.
