Things work both ways, of course.
And so the EU left our language,
waited not for any half-mumbled logy,
bade no adi .
And the rosceptics,
felt no phoria,
outmano vred as they were.
Words found themselves misconstrued.
There were bitter f ds
raised fists, Fr dian slips,
few remained n tral.
Unemployment rose –
amongst mass rs, chauff rs, n roscientists –
and mus ms closed.
The country got roomier
and rh mier,
a mausol m to memories of imperial grand r,
mixing racial slurs
with a sip from a glass of Pimms
and a snip of secat rs.
Writing poems which rhyme can be tricky and tough
for words often look like they’re from the same bough,
yet the end of each line sounds quite different, though,
and best hidden behind a hiccough or cough.
I wonder, did this bother Byron or Yeats?
Or Larkin or Wordsworth, Auden or Keats?
Were opportunities presented or simply just threats?
Could they think up their rhymes without caveats?
But what should it matter when all’s said and done
if you should read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime for which you need to atone;
it would all be baloney to an abalone.
So perhaps I should not be quite so afeard.
Some poems are best seen rather than heard.
to, be, a, comma,
one, word, fromma,
Mark was his name!
He would shout and proclaim!
Every sentence he wrote
would end just the same!
He would assert! He would blurt!
He would ejaculate and spurt!
Each line was a screamer!
A gasper! A slammer! A shrieker!
A literary loudspeaker!!!
Frankly, it all began to needle and nark!
Why did no one think to question Mark?
In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.
Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.
This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull. Soporific.
So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,
but here’s a suggestion, a hint,
a top tip, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise,
brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point.
Its not eazy being a pedent
correcting others’ mis-takes all daylong
My freinds and me are totally sic
of observing gramma witch has gone wrong.
“Whom are these language offenders”?,
“could it be that I maybe one, to”
Their ignorant; stupid, and careless:
off gramma they have’nt a clue.
They’re speling is sutch an embarrasment
its’ amature, wired, and, abserd,
comprized of neither thought or intelligance,
to a dictionary they should of refered.
Writing down there awkwardly formed sentences,
the participle clauses are left dangling.
just made one less mistake each would have the affect
to dramatically reduce this language mangling.