words

A New Show for 2026: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside

News

I’m heading off on tour next year with a brand new solo show, in which I’ll be reading poems from my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.

The tour starts in September. Tickets have gone on sale at most venues today. You can find out more here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A poster for my Autumn 2026 Tour, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. It features me, my late cat and a list of my tour dates: 23-Sep Monmouth, Savoy Theatre 24-Sep Aberystwyth, Arts Centre 25-Sep Cardigan, Mlwdan Theatre 26-Sep Winchester, Guildhall 27-Sep Guildford, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre 30-Sep Harpenden, Eric Morecambe Centre 01-Oct Coventry, Warwick Arts Centre 02-Oct Darwen, Darwen Library Theatre 04-Oct Malton, Milton Rooms 07-Oct Croydon, Ashcroft Theatre 08-Oct Deal, Astor Theatre 09-Oct Norwich, The Halls 10-Oct Colchester, Colchester Arts Centre 14-Oct Loughborough, MMC 15-Oct Manchester, Stoller Hall 16-Oct Ulverston, Coronation Hall 21-Oct Kidderminster, Town Hall 22-Oct Glasgow, Macintosh Church 23-Oct Aberdeen, Lemon Tree 24-Oct Stirling, Tolbooth 28-Oct Stamford, Corn Exchange 29-Oct Bury St Edmonds, Apex Theatre 30-Oct Corsham, Pound Arts Centre 31-Oct Oxford, North Wall 04-Nov Worthing, Worthing Pavilion 06-Nov Bellaghy, Seamus Heaney Centre 11-Nov Leeds, City Varieties 12-Nov Sunderland, Fire Station 13-Nov Helmsley, Helmsley Arts Centre 14-Nov Pocklington, Pocklington Arts Centre 15-Nov Sheffield, Memorial Hall 19-Nov Stroud, Sub Rooms 20-Nov Bridport, Electric Palace 21-Nov Exeter, Corn Exchange 22-Nov Bude, Parkhouse Centre 25-Nov Newark, Palace Theatre 26-Nov Bakewell, Town Hall 27-Nov Chorley, Chorley Theatre 28-Nov Liverpool, Tung Arts Centre 30-Nov Bristol, St George's 01-Dec Cardiff, Glee Club 04-Dec London, Union Chapel

I’ll be reading poems in: Aberdeen; Aberystwyth; Bakewell; Bellaghy; Bridport; Bristol; Bude; Bury St Edmonds; Cardiff; Cardigan; Chorley; Colchester; Corsham; Coventry; Croydon; Darwen; Deal; Exeter; Glasgow; Guildford; Harpenden; Helmsley; Kidderminster; Leeds; Liverpool; London; Loughborough; Malton; Manchester; Monmouth; Newark; Norwich; Oxford; Pocklington; Sheffield; Stamford; Stirling; Stroud; Sunderland; Ulverston; Winchester; Worthing.

It would be smashing to see you at one of these. Please do spread the word.

Publication Day!

News

It’s UK publication day for ‘A Poem for Every Question’, my new collection of poems for children, illustrated by the brilliant Joe Berger. 

This is what it looks like

Inside there are poems to answer all sorts of interesting questions: how many stars in the universe exploded today?; who had the first holiday?; how many times a day do we laugh?; are unicorns real?;  and many more.

I’m really chuffed to see how this book has turned out. A big thanks to the team at Farshore Books for producing such a beautiful object.

If you fancy getting hold of a copy, it should be available through your local bookshop. Alternatively, here’s a page with links to some online booksellers: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-poem-for-every-question-brian-bilston?variant=55115733893499

Roger’s Thesaurus

Some poems

Roger’s Thesaurus

In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.

Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.

This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull, soporific.

So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,

but here’s a top tip, a hint,
a suggestion, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise

.

ss

brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point,
compact, snappy, laconic.

..

.

Breviloquent.    

You Took the Last Bus Home

News, Some poems

I took delivery yesterday of some advance copies of the gorgeous new edition of ‘You Took the Last Bus Home’.

In celebration of that, here’s the title poem …

You Took the Last Bus Home

you took
the last bus home
don’t know how
you got it through the door 

you’re always doing amazing stuff 

like the time

you caught that train

The Bad Salad of William Archibald Spooner

Some poems

Why do I always watch my birds?
I know that statement sounds absurd
but today I reached an all-lime toe
when I received a blushing crow.

It’s wetting gorse – and here’s the crunch:
my conversation packs a lunch.
I’m not sure when all this began
but I think I need a plaster man

to help me when my stouth gets muck.
I should sit, perhaps, and bead a rook,
fight a liar, or flick some powers.
No, I think I’ll go and shake a tower.

…………………………………………………………………..

The Reverend William Archibald Spooner was born on this day in 1844. He’s remembered today for his unfortunate habit of getting his words muddled up. Happy Spoonerism Day to all those who belly crate.

Sounds Made by Humans – out now!

News

Last week saw the release of ‘Sounds Made by Humans’, an album of ‘poem songs’ I’ve made with the brilliant Catenary Wires.

Sounds Made by Humans

The album is out now on vinyl and CD; it’s also available for streaming on Spotify and elsewhere, and can be downloaded.

Some places where you can find it…

BANDCAMP

SHOPIFY

ROUGH TRADE (including limited edition ‘white vinyl’ edition):

We’re really proud of it and we’ll be taking it on the road with us in the UK in November, for some evenings of music and poetry. More on that in a few weeks.

Happy listening x

Brian Bilston & The Catenary Wires

Index of Poems I Shall Never Write

Assorted Poems, Some poems

I’ve been having a bit of a sort out over the summer. I’m throwing out some old titles for poems which I shall never write. Free to a good home.

And Now for the Weather

Assorted Poems

Today is set to be agreeably alliterative
across an assortment of areas
although the occasional metaphor
may cause some faces to cloud. 

Idioms will be coming down like stair rods
in northern regions, while the south
may experience the odd outbreak of similes,
like an unexpected shower of arrows. 

In coastal, littoral, and seaside areas,
synonyms remain likely.
Further inland, sudden gusts of hyperbole
look set to take your breath away 

and a series of scattered euphemisms
will have you reaching for your wellies.
If you’re driving, please be aware that tautologies
of frozen ice are still affecting some roads,  

after a heavy and prolonged flurry of oxymorons.
And finally – from tomorrow evening –
expect to see the return of some light litotes,
making next week’s outlook hardly the best.

Roger’s Thesaurus

Some poems

In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.

Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.

This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull, soporific.

So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,

but here’s a top tip, a hint,
a suggestion, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise,

brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point,
compact, snappy, laconic.
Breviloquent.

Today is Thesaurus Day whiich commemorates the birth of Peter Mark Roget, born on this day in 1779 and author of Roget’s Thesaurus.