I here that their everywear,
those people who don’t know
there their from they’re.
It where’s me down,
they’re choice of word;
there grammar should not be scene
but herd.
language
Divided by a Common Language
Assorted Poems, Some poemsAmericans,
I have news to report;
i have done the math
and you are one letter short.
Perhaps
you should borrow the one
from the end of sports.
Comma
Assorted Poems, Some poemsHow, great,
to, be, a, comma,
and, separate,
one, word, fromma,
nother.
Exclamation Mark!
Assorted Poems, Some poemsMark was his name!
He would shout and proclaim!
Every sentence he wrote
would end just the same!
He would assert! He would blurt!
He would ejaculate and spurt!
Each line was a screamer!
A gasper! A slammer! A shrieker!
A literary loudspeaker!!!
Frankly, it all began to needle and nark!
Why did no one think to question Mark?
The Pedents’ Re-volt
Assorted Poems, Some poemsIts not eazy being a pedent
correcting others’ mis-takes all daylong
My freinds and me are totally sic
of observing gramma witch has gone wrong.
“Whom are these language offenders”?,
“could it be that I maybe one, to”
Their ignorant; stupid, and careless:
off gramma they have’nt a clue.
They’re speling is sutch an embarrasment
its’ amature, wired, and, abserd,
comprized of neither thought or intelligance,
to a dictionary they should of refered.
Writing down there awkwardly formed sentences,
the participle clauses are left dangling.
just made one less mistake each would have the affect
to dramatically reduce this language mangling.
The Grammar Police
Assorted Poems, Some poemsthe grammar police got him
split his infinitive open,
removed his colon
and left him lying commatose
the next day he was pronouned dead
full stop
Brian Bilston 