I here that their everywear,
those people who don’t know
there their from they’re.
It where’s me down,
they’re choice of word;
there grammar should not be scene
I have news to report;
i have done the math
and you are one letter short.
you should borrow the one
from the end of sports.
to, be, a, comma,
one, word, fromma,
Mark was his name!
He would shout and proclaim!
Every sentence he wrote
would end just the same!
He would assert! He would blurt!
He would ejaculate and spurt!
Each line was a screamer!
A gasper! A slammer! A shrieker!
A literary loudspeaker!!!
Frankly, it all began to needle and nark!
Why did no one think to question Mark?
In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.
Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.
This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull. Soporific.
So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,
but here’s a suggestion, a hint,
a top tip, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise,
brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point.
Its not eazy being a pedent
correcting others’ mis-takes all daylong
My freinds and me are totally sic
of observing gramma witch has gone wrong.
“Whom are these language offenders”?,
“could it be that I maybe one, to”
Their ignorant; stupid, and careless:
off gramma they have’nt a clue.
They’re speling is sutch an embarrasment
its’ amature, wired, and, abserd,
comprized of neither thought or intelligance,
to a dictionary they should of refered.
Writing down there awkwardly formed sentences,
the participle clauses are left dangling.
just made one less mistake each would have the affect
to dramatically reduce this language mangling.
the grammar police got him
split his infinitive open,
removed his colon
and left him lying commatose
the next day he was pronouned dead