Send me a slow news day,
a quiet, subdued day,
in which nothing much happens of note,
save for the passing of time,
the consumption of wine,
and a re-run of Murder, She Wrote.
Grant me a no news day,
a spare-me-your-views day,
in which nothing much happens at all,
except a few hours together
some regional weather,
a day we can barely recall.
How was your Christmas?
you ask
and I think of
the bloodstained rug
and the silent scraping
of the spade
in the garden
at midnight
and the wash wash
washing of my hands
and the dreams,
those endless dreams
which haunt
the night-time
and smudge
their thumbprints
on the day
to come
and I reply
Super, thanks. Yours?
Resolution
Having failed to keep
A new year’s resolution for
Pretty much ever, this year I resolve to
Play it safe. The trick is to know
Your limits. Keep it simple.
Now what I resolve to do is to
Eschew a poetic form. Abstain from
Writing an acrostic for a whole
Year. A resolution, I think,
Easily done. Eminently achievable.
A piece of cake. Oh,
Rats.
This was the year that was not the year
This was the year that was not the year
I repaired the bathroom tap
and emptied out the kitchen drawer
of a lifetime’s worth of crap.
This was the year that was not the year
in which I launched a new career.
A West End hit eluded me
as did Time Person of the Year.
This was the year that was not the year
I became a household name.
Action figures were not sold of me.
I wasn’t made a dame.
This was the year that was not the year
I spent less time on my phone.
A night of passion did not happen
in a boutique hotel in Rome.
This was the year that was the year
I didn’t get that much done –
much the same as the year before,
much like the one to come.
I’m heading off on tour next year with a brand new solo show, in which I’ll be reading poems from my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.
The tour starts in September. Tickets have gone on sale at most venues today. You can find out more here: https://brianbilston.com/events/
I’ll be reading poems in: Aberdeen; Aberystwyth; Bakewell; Bellaghy; Bridport; Bristol; Bude; Bury St Edmonds; Cardiff; Cardigan; Chorley; Colchester; Corsham; Coventry; Croydon; Darwen; Deal; Exeter; Glasgow; Guildford; Harpenden; Helmsley; Kidderminster; Leeds; Liverpool; London; Loughborough; Malton; Manchester; Monmouth; Newark; Norwich; Oxford; Pocklington; Sheffield; Stamford; Stirling; Stroud; Sunderland; Ulverston; Winchester; Worthing.
It would be smashing to see you at one of these. Please do spread the word.
It’s UK publication day for ‘A Poem for Every Question’, my new collection of poems for children, illustrated by the brilliant Joe Berger.
Inside there are poems to answer all sorts of interesting questions: how many stars in the universe exploded today?; who had the first holiday?; how many times a day do we laugh?; are unicorns real?; and many more.
I’m really chuffed to see how this book has turned out. A big thanks to the team at Farshore Books for producing such a beautiful object.
If you fancy getting hold of a copy, it should be available through your local bookshop. Alternatively, here’s a page with links to some online booksellers: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-poem-for-every-question-brian-bilston?variant=55115733893499
It’s publication day for the new edition of my first poetry collection, You Took the Last Bus Home. It’s been unavailable for nine months, following the demise of its original publisher, Unbound. I’m so delighted that Picador stepped into the breach to bring out this shiny new edition.
Hopefully it will now be back on the shelves of most bookshops – and it’s available to order online from all the usual places. You can find a few links to where to order here: https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/brian-bilston/you-took-the-last-bus-home/9781035086634
Roger’s Thesaurus
In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.
Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.
This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull, soporific.
So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,
but here’s a top tip, a hint,
a suggestion, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise
.
ss
brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point,
compact, snappy, laconic.
..
.
Breviloquent.
There now follows a short public information film containing particulars of Brian Bilston and The Catenary Wires’ autumn tour.
You can find more particulars here, in particular: https://brianbilston.com/events/
To make poems rhyme can sometimes be tough
as words can seem to be from the same bough,
yet each line’s ending sounds different, though,
best covered up with a hiccough or cough.
Was this upsetting to Byron or Yeats?
Dickinson, Wordsworth, Larkin or Keats?
Did they see these words as auditory threats?
Could they write their lines without caveats?
What does it matter when all’s said and done
if you read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime. There’s no need to atone:
language is a bowl of thick minestrone.
So mumble these endings into your beard –
this poem should be seen, rather than heard.
