What Don Corleone Did Next
upon retiring
from the mafia
he wove aquatic mammals
out of raffia
let me tell you
how I learnt this news:
he made me an otter
I could not refuse
Poetry
A poem which isn’t the one I had hoped to write
Selected poemsThis is Not the Poem I Had Hoped to Write
This is not the poem I had hoped to write
when I sat at my desk and the page was white.
You see, there were other words I’d had in mind,
yet this is what I leave behind.
I thought it was a poem to eradicate war;
one of such power, it would heal all the sores
of a world torn apart by conflict and schism.
But it isn’t.
Lovers, I’d imagined, would quote from it daily,
Mothers would sing it to soothe crying babies.
And whole generations would be given new hope.
Nope.
I had grand aspirations. Believe me, I tried.
Humanity examined with lessons applied.
But the right words escaped me; so often they do.
Have these in lieu.
2026 shows – low ticket alert
NewsMuch to my surprise, some of my shows this year are on the verge of selling out. You may need to get your rollerblades on if you plan to come to any of the following, which have fewer than 50 tickets remaining:
9May: FILEY Literature Festival
3 June: LEEK Arts Festival
4 June: CHESTER Literature Festival
8 Oct: DEAL Astor Theatre
10 Oct: COLCHESTER Arts Centre
14 Oct: LOUGHBOROUGH, MMC
7 Nov: BELLAGHY, Seamus Heaney HomePlace
13 Nov : HELMSLEY Arts Centre
14 Nov: POCKLINGTON Arts Centre
Shows in Bristol, Bury St Edmunds, Exeter, Leeds, London, Norwich and Stirling are also selling quickly.
For a full list of events, plus links to tickets, go here: https://brianbilston.com/events
*End of low ticket alert*
A poem about getting up
Selected poemsLate Twentieth-Century Techno-Funk Wake-Up Call
Get up.
Get on up. Beep.
Get up.
Get on up. Beep. Threep.
Get up.
Get on up. Beeeeep. Threeeeep.
Stay on the scene
like a fax machine.
World Book Day Book Awareness Day
News
Given it’s World Book Day, I suppose I should mention that I’ve got a new book coming out next month.
It’s called ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’: a collection of new poems, which also doubles up as a guide to enjoying and writing poetry.
It is not altogether serious.
It’s pre-orderable through your local friendly bookshop, plus those online ones.
Signed copies are available through the UK indie bookshops and here: https://uk.bookshop.org/a/295/9781035085729
#InspirationalPoem
Selected poemsMessage to the 14-Year-Old Me
Believe in yourself.
You can do anything you set your heart on –
except A level physics, perhaps.
Well, all the sciences really.
DIY is a bit of a no-no, too.
See also: driving; skiing; map reading;
cooking pasta in the right quantities;
relationships; origami.
Don’t even think about running
your own business. Or singing in tune.
Best to steer clear of all activities which require
good hand-eye coordination.
Forget ice-skating, tending house plants,
dealing with spiders, the correct spelling of the word
‘enjambement’. I could go on.
But do not despair – for given time
and with a little luck on your side –
you can achieve a basic level of competence
in a limited number of simple, unremarkable things,
you just need to believe in yourself.
Annual reminder of how many days there are in each month
Selected poemsMnemonic
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.
Unless a leap year is its fate,
February hath twenty-eight.
All the rest hath three days more,
excepting January,
which hath six thousand,
one hundred and eighty-four.