The Chilcot Report: A History

Not much happened that first day –
the day the inquiry began –
the wind blew, a blackbird sang,
a shoe was found on the sand.

And the next day was the same.
Add in the bleating of a lamb,
a stick floating down a stream,
an early morning traffic jam.

And so it was, and so it was,
that the days turned into years,
and the people came and went –
their lives, their loves, their words.

Dynasties rose, empires fell,
species evolved over time.
Continents drifted further apart,
stars disappeared from the sky.

Dark energy increased in density,
all matter began to distort,
the universe collapsed in on itself,
then out came the Chilcot Report.

The Time I Set My Clock Forward

Distractedly resetting my clock,

I had something of a shock

when I saw that I’d wound 

the hands around

three hundred and eight-five thousand times,

and I accidentally found 

myself in 2059.

Things were much the same as 2015

except that Cheryl was queen,

mobile phones 

were the size of mobile homes,

people drove around

in Michael Bublé cars,

and Firth and Farrell

had colinised Mars.