A new ‘poem song’ with the fab Catenary Wires is out today: Every Song on the Radio Reminds Me of You. We’ve even made an accompanying video, in which I do some very good walking around with a radio, plus knob twiddling.
Caravan of love
It’s from our forthcoming album, ‘Sounds Made by Humans’ which comes out on 9 May and is available to pre-order on vinyl and CD from all good record stores. You’ll find it up on the various music streaming sites, too.
Some news! I have a new book of poems for children coming out in a couple of months – Let Sleeping Cats Lie.
It’s a collection of poems about pets (dogs, cats, goldfish, chinchilla, guinea pigs, snakes, budgies, rabbits, blue whales etc). I say it’s for children but it’s also suitable for grandchildren and, who knows, some grown-ups might enjoy it, too; I don’t like to be too prescriptive.
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November.
Unless a leap year is its fate,
February hath twenty-eight.
All the rest hath three days more,
excepting January,
which hath six thousand,
one hundred and eighty-four.
Well done, everybody, for making it to January 569th.
I’ve been grateful for those extra days this month, as it’s given me time to get my head together for my 2024 shows, which begin in just over two weeks’ time with a run of dates with the fabulous poet (and human) Henry Normal. We start on 16th February in Bexhill-on-Sea on the south coast.
Places and dates
Shows in Nottingham and Monmouth have now sold out – alongside Salford, Leeds, Exeter, Bath, Stroud and Leek.
There are only a handful of tickets remaining for London, Oxford, Bury St Edmunds, Coventry and Ilkley.
Tickets are also on sale for Sunderland, Barrow, Wolverhampton, Norwich, Berwick-upon-Tweed, Stirling, Aberdeen, Dundee, Edinburgh, Glasgow, plus two new shows announced last week: Bristol and Southampton.
And a small reminder that I’m doing a few solo shows this year in fancy coming along to one: Chester, Lincoln, Scarborough, Falmouth, Totnes, Launceston, Belfast and Dublin.
More places and dates
If you came to see me last year and for some strange reason are considering coming along again, then you might be reassured to know I’ll be reading a bunch of new poems (alongside a few older ones). There’s a guarantee of a least two new jokes or your money back (terms and conditions apply*).
Is this year going to be THE year in which you get all your shopping sorted way ahead of time?
Probably not, no.
Is there a book publishing today which could solve many of your Christmas shopping headaches?
No idea, tbh.
Regardless, I thought I should probably let you know that I have a new book coming out today. It’s a collection of Christmas poems called And So This is Christmas.
Poems cover most of the festive basics, such as: the likelihood of snow; secret Santa shopping; family tensions; the voting habits of turkeys; the difficulty of getting hold of some myrrh; disruptions to the regular bin schedule; bloody robins.
Oh, and the commercialization of Christmas, of course.
If it wasn’t too early to be thinking about Christmas, I would tell you that the book is available through all bookshops – online stores and proper ones. I’d probably also share this link, which provides links to some of the bookshops through which you can order it online:
I might also mention that the paperback of Days Like These will be publishing in just under a month and that also might serve as a Christmas gift for someone for whom you don’t want to go to much effort.
But given it’s only 12th October, I probably shouldn’t. In fact, best just to disregard all of the above; I wish I hadn’t mentioned it now.
I’m delighted to share with you some exciting – if somewhat unseasonal – news …
I have a new poetry collection coming out in October, perfectly timed for Christmas: which is a good job really because it’s a book of Christmas poems. It’s called ‘And So This is Christmas’ and is now available to preorder.
The book will be available through your local bookshop, or online. If ordered online through the link below, you can also support an independent bookshop of your choosing: Preorder here
A very Merry July and a Happy New August to you all.
Today is set to be agreeably alliterative
across an assortment of areas
although the occasional metaphor
may cause some faces to cloud.
Idioms will be coming down like stair rods
in northern regions, while the south
may experience the odd outbreak of similes,
like an unexpected shower of arrows.
In coastal, littoral, and seaside areas,
synonyms remain likely.
Further inland, sudden gusts of hyperbole
look set to take your breath away
and a series of scattered euphemisms
will have you reaching for your wellies.
If you’re driving, please be aware that tautologies
of frozen ice are still affecting some roads,
after a heavy and prolonged flurry of oxymorons.
And finally – from tomorrow evening –
expect to see the return of some light litotes,
making next week’s outlook hardly the best.
