Send me a slow news day,
a quiet, subdued day,
in which nothing much happens of note,
save for the passing of time,
the consumption of wine,
and a re-run of Murder, She Wrote.
Grant me a no news day,
a spare-me-your-views day,
in which nothing much happens at all,
except a few hours together
some regional weather,
a day we can barely recall.
In the last few days, I’ve read poems in Ely, Birmingham, St Andrews, Edinburgh and Brighton; each event was lovely and special in its own way. A big thank you to everyone who came along to them, and indeed, to all the 15,000 people who have dragged themselves to my 59 shows this year.
In terms of 2024, a couple of new dates have been added:
BARROW-in FURNESS (19 Feb – with Henry Normal): TICKETS HERE
and a second evening of my solo show in SCARBOROUGH (22 March): TICKETS HERE
For my shows with Henry Normal, these ones are selling like hotcakes: BURY ST EDMUNDS, EXETER, LEEDS, LONDON, SALFORD and STROUD, so you might need to be quick if you fancy coming along.
Tickets for these ones are selling like warm buns: BATH, COVENTRY, MONMOUTH, NOTTINGHAM, OXFORD and SUNDERLAND, so I wouldn’t wait too long.
And these ones could do with some heating up: ABERDEEN, BEXHILL-ON-SEA, DUNDEE, EDINBURGH, GLASGOW, ILKLEY, NORWICH, STIRLING, WOLVERHAMPTON.
And just a reminder that I’ve got a few solo shows next year, too: BELFAST, CHESTER, DUBLIN, FALMOUTH, LAUNCESTON, LINCOLN, SCARBOROUGH, TOTNES.
Anyway, you can find out details of ALL these shows here: https://brianbilston.com/events/
Finally, would tickets to one of these make a nice gift for somebody this Christmas?*
I couldn’t possibly comment.
* YES
We interrupt this poem to bring you reports
of an explosion
of wild untruths and other signs that the news
is broken.
Early indications from those who were first
on the scene
have led to widespread fears of another Sweden
or Bowling Green
and that peace might erupt at any moment
in other places.
It is believed that amongst the rubble of reality
were found traces
of humanity and an understanding that stretches
beyond borders.
Many experts predict this will lead to a new wave
of presidential orders
for such trumped-up charges form part of
a familiar pattern.
But back to the poem: we’ll bring you more news
as it doesn’t happen.
New research suggests that eighty people hold half the world’s wealth.
New research suggests that death may be harmful to your health.
New research suggests that 9 in 10 people will suffer from suffering.
New research suggests that the greatest cause of stress is buffering.
New research suggests that there is no link between Shostakovich and bleach.
New research suggests that the average life expectancy is one life each.
New research suggests that poetry may be harmless.
New research suggests that tank tops may be armless.
New research suggests that Donald Trump may lead to complications in the bile duct.
New research suggests that happiness is an artificial construct.
New research suggests that artificial constructs can make you happy.
New research suggests that the ancient Egyptians invented acne.
New research suggests that Van Gogh’s cat painted Starry Night.
New research suggests that there may be life on Marmite.
New research suggests that hobnobs are better than digestives.
New research suggests that new research can be suggestive.
New research suggests that Elvis is dead.
New research suggests that I should stay in bed.
