“Sometimes the power
of a homophone
comes out of nowhere
and hits you,
like being struck
by a ten ton truck”,
Following the Pedants’ Revolt,
it was clear the semi-colons had to go.
Nit-picking sticklers sickened
by the centuries of their abuse,
misuse and misplacement oversaw
their displacement overseas.
Sentenced to de-sentencing,
they found themselves deported
to semi-colonies where
they could do no further harm.
Related clauses were reunited
or sadly, in some cases, split up.
Occasionally rogue semi-colons
would still be found; in a newspaper;
an obscure monograph; a badly-written poem.
The rebel writers would live in fear
of the knock at the door and
the heavy boots of the grammar police.
Sometimes these authors would
suddenly disappear, mysteriously,
before they had even fini
when the spectre showed Hector
how he had been behaving
in ways mean, moody and aggressive,
Hector knew he had been experiencing
the Ghost of Christmas Past Perfect Progressive.
the grammar police got him
split his infinitive open,
removed his colon
and left him lying commatose
the next day he was pronouned dead