books

A New Show for 2026: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside

News

I’m heading off on tour next year with a brand new solo show, in which I’ll be reading poems from my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.

The tour starts in September. Tickets have gone on sale at most venues today. You can find out more here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A poster for my Autumn 2026 Tour, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. It features me, my late cat and a list of my tour dates: 23-Sep Monmouth, Savoy Theatre 24-Sep Aberystwyth, Arts Centre 25-Sep Cardigan, Mlwdan Theatre 26-Sep Winchester, Guildhall 27-Sep Guildford, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre 30-Sep Harpenden, Eric Morecambe Centre 01-Oct Coventry, Warwick Arts Centre 02-Oct Darwen, Darwen Library Theatre 04-Oct Malton, Milton Rooms 07-Oct Croydon, Ashcroft Theatre 08-Oct Deal, Astor Theatre 09-Oct Norwich, The Halls 10-Oct Colchester, Colchester Arts Centre 14-Oct Loughborough, MMC 15-Oct Manchester, Stoller Hall 16-Oct Ulverston, Coronation Hall 21-Oct Kidderminster, Town Hall 22-Oct Glasgow, Macintosh Church 23-Oct Aberdeen, Lemon Tree 24-Oct Stirling, Tolbooth 28-Oct Stamford, Corn Exchange 29-Oct Bury St Edmonds, Apex Theatre 30-Oct Corsham, Pound Arts Centre 31-Oct Oxford, North Wall 04-Nov Worthing, Worthing Pavilion 06-Nov Bellaghy, Seamus Heaney Centre 11-Nov Leeds, City Varieties 12-Nov Sunderland, Fire Station 13-Nov Helmsley, Helmsley Arts Centre 14-Nov Pocklington, Pocklington Arts Centre 15-Nov Sheffield, Memorial Hall 19-Nov Stroud, Sub Rooms 20-Nov Bridport, Electric Palace 21-Nov Exeter, Corn Exchange 22-Nov Bude, Parkhouse Centre 25-Nov Newark, Palace Theatre 26-Nov Bakewell, Town Hall 27-Nov Chorley, Chorley Theatre 28-Nov Liverpool, Tung Arts Centre 30-Nov Bristol, St George's 01-Dec Cardiff, Glee Club 04-Dec London, Union Chapel

I’ll be reading poems in: Aberdeen; Aberystwyth; Bakewell; Bellaghy; Bridport; Bristol; Bude; Bury St Edmonds; Cardiff; Cardigan; Chorley; Colchester; Corsham; Coventry; Croydon; Darwen; Deal; Exeter; Glasgow; Guildford; Harpenden; Helmsley; Kidderminster; Leeds; Liverpool; London; Loughborough; Malton; Manchester; Monmouth; Newark; Norwich; Oxford; Pocklington; Sheffield; Stamford; Stirling; Stroud; Sunderland; Ulverston; Winchester; Worthing.

It would be smashing to see you at one of these. Please do spread the word.

Publication Day!

News

It’s UK publication day for ‘A Poem for Every Question’, my new collection of poems for children, illustrated by the brilliant Joe Berger. 

This is what it looks like

Inside there are poems to answer all sorts of interesting questions: how many stars in the universe exploded today?; who had the first holiday?; how many times a day do we laugh?; are unicorns real?;  and many more.

I’m really chuffed to see how this book has turned out. A big thanks to the team at Farshore Books for producing such a beautiful object.

If you fancy getting hold of a copy, it should be available through your local bookshop. Alternatively, here’s a page with links to some online booksellers: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-poem-for-every-question-brian-bilston?variant=55115733893499

Roger’s Thesaurus

Some poems

Roger’s Thesaurus

In order to grow, expand, widen
his lexicological corpus,
Roger bought, acquired, purchased
a synonymopedia, a thesaurus.

Soon, presently, without delay,
he no longer ran out of things to say,
speak, utter, express, articulate,
give voice to, pronounce, communicate.

This was all very well, fine, great,
wonderful, super, terrific
but his friends, mates, pals found him
boring, tedious, dull, soporific.

So let this be a warning,
an omen, a sign, a premonition,
it’s all very well to show learning,
education, knowledge, erudition,

but here’s a top tip, a hint,
a suggestion, some advice,
don’t ever let it stop you
from being concise

.

ss

brief, short, clear, pithy,
succinct, compendious, to the point,
compact, snappy, laconic.

..

.

Breviloquent.    

You Took the Last Bus Home

News, Some poems

I took delivery yesterday of some advance copies of the gorgeous new edition of ‘You Took the Last Bus Home’.

In celebration of that, here’s the title poem …

You Took the Last Bus Home

you took
the last bus home
don’t know how
you got it through the door 

you’re always doing amazing stuff 

like the time

you caught that train

Sounds Made by Humans – out now!

News

Last week saw the release of ‘Sounds Made by Humans’, an album of ‘poem songs’ I’ve made with the brilliant Catenary Wires.

Sounds Made by Humans

The album is out now on vinyl and CD; it’s also available for streaming on Spotify and elsewhere, and can be downloaded.

Some places where you can find it…

BANDCAMP

SHOPIFY

ROUGH TRADE (including limited edition ‘white vinyl’ edition):

We’re really proud of it and we’ll be taking it on the road with us in the UK in November, for some evenings of music and poetry. More on that in a few weeks.

Happy listening x

Brian Bilston & The Catenary Wires

Let Sleeping Cats Lie – out now

News

It’s UK publication day for ‘Let Sleeping Cats Lie’, my collection of poems about pets.

I wrote the for book children, aged between 7 and 95, and it’s available through all the usual bookshop places. You can find some of the online retailers here: https://linktr.ee/brianbilston

There are a few signed copies knocking about, too. Here’s a small list of some of the independent bookshops who have signed copies: https://linktr.ee/letsleepingcatslie

Anyway, that’s about all I have to say on the matter so I shall finish writing this post now.

Index of Poems I Shall Never Write

Assorted Poems, Some poems

I’ve been having a bit of a sort out over the summer. I’m throwing out some old titles for poems which I shall never write. Free to a good home.

Let Sleeping Cats Lie

Assorted Poems

Some news! I have a new book of poems for children coming out in a couple of months – Let Sleeping Cats Lie.


It’s a collection of poems about pets (dogs, cats, goldfish, chinchilla, guinea pigs, snakes, budgies, rabbits, blue whales etc). I say it’s for children but it’s also suitable for grandchildren and, who knows, some grown-ups might enjoy it, too; I don’t like to be too prescriptive.


It publishes on 26th September in the UK. If you fancied pre-ordering a copy, you can do so through your local bookshop or visiting this page with links to some online booksellers:
https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/brian-bilston/let-sleeping-cats-lie-pet-poems/9781035050550

Here’s a poem from the collection:

Wilf the Labracadabrador

Wilf the Labracadabrador
(who in dog years is seventy-six)

is a magician, a conjurer
and a hypnotist.

He saws teddies in half.
He pulls rabbits from hats.

He makes all his food vanish,
just like that.

Renowned for his showdogship
and smooth sleight of paw,

Wilf’s about to em-bark
on a nationwide tour.

Last week, I showed him
how to juggle with sticks.

Whoever said you can’t teach
an old dog new tricks?

Warning: this post contains the C word

News

Is it too early to be thinking about Christmas?

Almost certainly, yes.

Is this year going to be THE year in which you get all your shopping sorted way ahead of time?

Probably not, no.

Is there a book publishing today which could solve many of your Christmas shopping headaches?

No idea, tbh.

Regardless, I thought I should probably let you know that I have a new book coming out today. It’s a collection of Christmas poems called And So This is Christmas.

Poems cover most of the festive basics, such as: the likelihood of snow; secret Santa shopping; family tensions; the voting habits of turkeys; the difficulty of getting hold of some myrrh; disruptions to the regular bin schedule; bloody robins.

Oh, and the commercialization of Christmas, of course.

If it wasn’t too early to be thinking about Christmas, I would tell you that the book is available through all bookshops – online stores and proper ones. I’d probably also share this link, which provides links to some of the bookshops through which you can order it online:

https://linktr.ee/brianbilston

I might also mention that the paperback of Days Like These will be publishing in just under a month and that also might serve as a Christmas gift for someone for whom you don’t want to go to much effort.

But given it’s only 12th October, I probably shouldn’t. In fact, best just to disregard all of the above; I wish I hadn’t mentioned it now.

Assorted Poems, News
Some books

It’s December so I suppose I should mention these books in case you might want to incorporate any of them into your Christmas shopping.

‘50 Ways to Score a Goal’ is a collection of poems, perfect for the football obsessive in your life, whether they’re aged eight or eighty (but not thirty-four for some reason).

‘Alexa, what is there to know about love?’ published earlier this year in a splendid-looking hardcover edition. It’s a collection of poems about love (plus a few other things like Brexit and pasta), making it the ideal gift for Sagittarians, vegetarians and Presbyterians.

‘Diary of a Somebody’ is a novel, in the form of a diary, about a complete loser called Brian Bilston (no relation). It also contains over 100 poems and for shortlisted for the Costa First Novel Award. Goes well with a tomato and basil sauce.

‘You Took the Last Bus Home’ is, at heart, a book with some words in it. Many of these have been arranged into poems along with punctuation marks and the occasional line break. Appropriate for mums, uncles, nephews and sister-in-laws.

And ‘Refugees’ is my forwardy-backwardy poem in picture book format for children. The poem is accompanied by the beautiful artwork of José Sanabria.

They’re available from a bookshop near you. Unless you’re in North America, where generally you can only get hold of You Took the Last Bus Home and Refugees.

Also, you can find all the titles here, alongside some of my favourite books: https://uk.bookshop.org/shop/brianbilston

I hope to bring news quite soon of a new book on the way but more on that anon (and on and on).