There’s a hole in my life where you really should be
Because I’m stuck on you but you’re not stuck on me.
Until I possess you, I shall never be free,
Panini sticker number five forty-three.

I don’t care for your Neymar or Lionel Messi.
You can shove your Ronaldo – of him, I’ve got three.
It’s not about quality but quantity for me,
and I have zero of Gabriel Gomez, you see.

And now my money’s all gone, unfortunately.
The bailiffs are here and my family’s left me.
But it was worth every penny, I’m sure you’ll agree
For Gabriel Gomez, number five forty-three.