Don’t get me wrong, I’d love nothing more
than to commune with Mother Nature.
But what can I do? It’s out of my hands:
Nigeria are playing Croatia.
What’s that? Another meal on your own?
You’re quite right, there is nothing bleaker.
But this is the big one. I’ve waited all day.
Switzerland – Costa Rica.
Sorry I shall miss your mum’s funeral
but I should be there in time for the wake.
Do understand, it’s Morocco – Iran
and for both teams there’s so much at stake.
I see that you’ve filed for divorce.
I’ll sign the papers as soon as I can,
just ten minutes more (plus time added on)
of Colombia versus Japan.

Those less fortunate

Forgive me for being importunate
but, this Christmas,
please spare a thought
for those less fortunate:
the lonely, the recently bereaved,
the sufferers of pain unrelieved,
the homeless, the poor, the needy
and those who watched
Mrs Brown’s Boys Christmas Special
on their TV.