Monetisation
The advert said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
poem
A New Show for 2026: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside
NewsI’m heading off on tour next year with a brand new solo show, in which I’ll be reading poems from my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.
The tour starts in September. Tickets have gone on sale at most venues today. You can find out more here: https://brianbilston.com/events/
I’ll be reading poems in: Aberdeen; Aberystwyth; Bakewell; Bellaghy; Bridport; Bristol; Bude; Bury St Edmonds; Cardiff; Cardigan; Chorley; Colchester; Corsham; Coventry; Croydon; Darwen; Deal; Exeter; Glasgow; Guildford; Harpenden; Helmsley; Kidderminster; Leeds; Liverpool; London; Loughborough; Malton; Manchester; Monmouth; Newark; Norwich; Oxford; Pocklington; Sheffield; Stamford; Stirling; Stroud; Sunderland; Ulverston; Winchester; Worthing.
It would be smashing to see you at one of these. Please do spread the word.
Public Information Film
NewsThere now follows a short public information film containing particulars of Brian Bilston and The Catenary Wires’ autumn tour.
You can find more particulars here, in particular: https://brianbilston.com/events/
Neither Rhyme nor Reason
Selected poemsTo make poems rhyme can sometimes be tough
as words can seem to be from the same bough,
yet each line’s ending sounds different, though,
best covered up with a hiccough or cough.
Was this upsetting to Byron or Yeats?
Dickinson, Wordsworth, Larkin or Keats?
Did they see these words as auditory threats?
Could they write their lines without caveats?
What does it matter when all’s said and done
if you read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime. There’s no need to atone:
language is a bowl of thick minestrone.
So mumble these endings into your beard –
this poem should be seen, rather than heard.
O do not ask if I am beach body ready
Selected poemsO do not ask
if I am beach body ready.
Observe how the folds of my stomach ripple
like the wind-pulled waves.
Rub your hands over these pale buttocks,
sand-smoothed by time.
Note my milk-white limbs like washed up whalebones,
stranded and useless.
Consider these tufts of hair on my back and shoulders
sprouting wildly like sea-grass.
And listen to the lapping of my socks
at the shores of my sandals.
And still you ask me
if I am beach body ready?
Wild Weekend
Selected poemsSunday – and the squirrels are lazing in their branches,
the sheep are congregating for morning service,
and the bears are sleeping off their sore heads.
The sloths are taking things slow, the hippos are wallowing,
the cats are curling up on the newspaper in front of the television.
The alpacas will spend the day in their fluffies.
Not everyone is taking it easy. The deer are up already
for a walk around the park. The ducks are planning a trip
across the lake. The salmon have gone wild swimming.
The snails are pottering about the garden, while the crows
scan its aisles for materials and a spot of DIY. The pigeons have split
up: some are hanging around the shopping centre,
others intend to spend the afternoon at the Test match.
The lions are having an old friend over for dinner, the camels
are baking, the spiders are browsing their webs, and the humans…
the humans are wondering where the weekend has gone
as they stave off the prospect of another beastly Monday,
questioning the natural order of things.
In the Park
Selected poemsIn the park,
the tall trees are waving
in the afternoon breeze.
I wave back
only to realize they are waving
at the person behind me.
Today’s Climate Forecast
Selected poemsAnd onto today’s climate forecast,
where we can expect to see a prolonged spell of inaction,
interspersed with patches of hazy promises
across many areas.
Over Westminster and other centres of government,
a build-up of hot air will cause inactivity to soar
to record levels over the coming days,
in spite of the high pressure.
Elsewhere, a front of chronic misinformation
will sweep in from the east,
bringing with it a thick band of climate change deniers
and the chance of scattered falsehoods,
while powerful gusts of idiocy and ignorance
look set to blow across social media.
Outbreaks of ‘We just got on with it in 1976’
and ‘It’s called the British summer, mate’ are likely.
In summary: unsettling.
New shows for 2025
News
I’m delighted to announce a plethora of new shows for May 2025 with the brilliant Henry Normal. We’re be coming to BIRMINGHAM, CAMBRIDGE, HARROGATE, LANCASTER, LIVERPOOL, LONDON, MANCHESTER, MELTON MOWBRAY, NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME, NORTHAMPTON, STOCKTON-ON-TEES and WHITLEY BAY. Tickets have gone on sale today.
As previously announced, we’ll also be reading poems in ASHFORD, BURNLEY, CARDIFF, HALIFAX, HASTINGS, READING, ST ALBANS, SHEFFIELD, SHREWSBURY, STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, TAUNTON and WORTHING.
After all that, I’ll be having a bit of a lie down, although you may also catch me at a few festivals throughout the year.
Links to tickets can be found here: https://brianbilston.com/events/
A few tickets available for this week …
NewsThanks very much to everyone who braved the elements to come and see me in Banbury, Stamford, Pocklington, Liverpool and Otley last week. Your dedication is to be much admired.
This week I’m mainly in Wales – in Caerphilly on Thursday and Crickhowell in the Brecon Beacons on Friday. There are a few tickets left for both shows. If you fancy coming along, then ticket info can be found through this link: https://brianbilston.com/upcoming-events-and-shows/
I’m then heading to Clevedon on Saturday before popping home to do my laundry.
Also, apart from one more return trip to Liverpool next month, that’s the end of my shows in the north of England this year. If you didn’t get a chance to get a ticket – or fancy coming along to a brand new show next year, then I’ll be heading to Leeds, Salford, Sunderland, Ilkley, Leek and Nottingham with Henry Normal – and doing a few solo shows in Scarborough, Chester and Lincoln*.
*Please note, other shows are available.
