poem

A New Show for 2026: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside

News

I’m heading off on tour next year with a brand new solo show, in which I’ll be reading poems from my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.

The tour starts in September. Tickets have gone on sale at most venues today. You can find out more here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A poster for my Autumn 2026 Tour, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. It features me, my late cat and a list of my tour dates: 23-Sep Monmouth, Savoy Theatre 24-Sep Aberystwyth, Arts Centre 25-Sep Cardigan, Mlwdan Theatre 26-Sep Winchester, Guildhall 27-Sep Guildford, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre 30-Sep Harpenden, Eric Morecambe Centre 01-Oct Coventry, Warwick Arts Centre 02-Oct Darwen, Darwen Library Theatre 04-Oct Malton, Milton Rooms 07-Oct Croydon, Ashcroft Theatre 08-Oct Deal, Astor Theatre 09-Oct Norwich, The Halls 10-Oct Colchester, Colchester Arts Centre 14-Oct Loughborough, MMC 15-Oct Manchester, Stoller Hall 16-Oct Ulverston, Coronation Hall 21-Oct Kidderminster, Town Hall 22-Oct Glasgow, Macintosh Church 23-Oct Aberdeen, Lemon Tree 24-Oct Stirling, Tolbooth 28-Oct Stamford, Corn Exchange 29-Oct Bury St Edmonds, Apex Theatre 30-Oct Corsham, Pound Arts Centre 31-Oct Oxford, North Wall 04-Nov Worthing, Worthing Pavilion 06-Nov Bellaghy, Seamus Heaney Centre 11-Nov Leeds, City Varieties 12-Nov Sunderland, Fire Station 13-Nov Helmsley, Helmsley Arts Centre 14-Nov Pocklington, Pocklington Arts Centre 15-Nov Sheffield, Memorial Hall 19-Nov Stroud, Sub Rooms 20-Nov Bridport, Electric Palace 21-Nov Exeter, Corn Exchange 22-Nov Bude, Parkhouse Centre 25-Nov Newark, Palace Theatre 26-Nov Bakewell, Town Hall 27-Nov Chorley, Chorley Theatre 28-Nov Liverpool, Tung Arts Centre 30-Nov Bristol, St George's 01-Dec Cardiff, Glee Club 04-Dec London, Union Chapel

I’ll be reading poems in: Aberdeen; Aberystwyth; Bakewell; Bellaghy; Bridport; Bristol; Bude; Bury St Edmonds; Cardiff; Cardigan; Chorley; Colchester; Corsham; Coventry; Croydon; Darwen; Deal; Exeter; Glasgow; Guildford; Harpenden; Helmsley; Kidderminster; Leeds; Liverpool; London; Loughborough; Malton; Manchester; Monmouth; Newark; Norwich; Oxford; Pocklington; Sheffield; Stamford; Stirling; Stroud; Sunderland; Ulverston; Winchester; Worthing.

It would be smashing to see you at one of these. Please do spread the word.

Public Information Film

News

There now follows a short public information film containing particulars of Brian Bilston and The Catenary Wires’ autumn tour.

You can find more particulars here, in particular: https://brianbilston.com/events/

Neither Rhyme nor Reason

Some poems

To make poems rhyme can sometimes be tough
as words can seem to be from the same bough,
yet each line’s ending sounds different, though,
best covered up with a hiccough or cough.

Was this upsetting to Byron or Yeats?
Dickinson, Wordsworth, Larkin or Keats?
Did they see these words as auditory threats?
Could they write their lines without caveats?

What does it matter when all’s said and done
if you read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime. There’s no need to atone:
language is a bowl of thick minestrone.

So mumble these endings into your beard –
this poem should be seen, rather than heard.

O do not ask if I am beach body ready

Some poems

O do not ask
if I am beach body ready.

Observe how the folds of my stomach ripple
like the wind-pulled waves.

Rub your hands over these pale buttocks,
sand-smoothed by time.

Note my milk-white limbs like washed up whalebones,
stranded and useless.

Consider these tufts of hair on my back and shoulders
sprouting wildly like sea-grass.

And listen to the lapping of my socks
at the shores of my sandals.

And still you ask me
if I am beach body ready?

Wild Weekend

Some poems

Sunday – and the squirrels are lazing in their branches,
the sheep are congregating for morning service,
and the bears are sleeping off their sore heads.

The sloths are taking things slow, the hippos are wallowing,
the cats are curling up on the newspaper in front of the television.
The alpacas will spend the day in their fluffies.

Not everyone is taking it easy. The deer are up already
for a walk around the park. The ducks are planning a trip
across the lake. The salmon have gone wild swimming.

The snails are pottering about the garden, while the crows
scan its aisles for materials and a spot of DIY. The pigeons have split
up: some are hanging around the shopping centre,

others intend to spend the afternoon at the Test match.
The lions are having an old friend over for dinner, the camels
are baking, the spiders are browsing their webs, and the humans…

the humans are wondering where the weekend has gone
as they stave off the prospect of another beastly Monday,
questioning the natural order of things.

Today’s Climate Forecast

Some poems

And onto today’s climate forecast, 
where we can expect to see a prolonged spell of inaction,
interspersed with patches of hazy promises
across many areas. 

Over Westminster and other centres of government,
a build-up of hot air will cause inactivity to soar
to record levels over the coming days,
in spite of the high pressure.

Elsewhere, a front of chronic misinformation 
will sweep in from the east,   
bringing with it a thick band of climate change deniers
and the chance of scattered falsehoods,

while powerful gusts of idiocy and ignorance
look set to blow across social media.
Outbreaks of ‘We just got on with it in 1976’
and ‘It’s called the British summer, mate’ are likely.

In summary: unsettling.

New shows for 2025

News

I’m delighted to announce a plethora of new shows for May 2025 with the brilliant Henry Normal. We’re be coming to BIRMINGHAM, CAMBRIDGE, HARROGATE, LANCASTER, LIVERPOOL, LONDON, MANCHESTER, MELTON MOWBRAY, NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME, NORTHAMPTON, STOCKTON-ON-TEES and WHITLEY BAY. Tickets have gone on sale today.

As previously announced, we’ll also be reading poems in ASHFORD, BURNLEY, CARDIFF, HALIFAX, HASTINGS, READING, ST ALBANS, SHEFFIELD, SHREWSBURY, STRATFORD-UPON-AVON, TAUNTON and WORTHING.

After all that, I’ll be having a bit of a lie down, although you may also catch me at a few festivals throughout the year.

Links to tickets can be found here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A few tickets available for this week …

News

Thanks very much to everyone who braved the elements to come and see me in Banbury, Stamford, Pocklington, Liverpool and Otley last week. Your dedication is to be much admired.

This week I’m mainly in Wales – in Caerphilly on Thursday and Crickhowell in the Brecon Beacons on Friday. There are a few tickets left for both shows. If you fancy coming along, then ticket info can be found through this link: https://brianbilston.com/upcoming-events-and-shows/

I’m then heading to Clevedon on Saturday before popping home to do my laundry.

Also, apart from one more return trip to Liverpool next month, that’s the end of my shows in the north of England this year. If you didn’t get a chance to get a ticket – or fancy coming along to a brand new show next year, then I’ll be heading to Leeds, Salford, Sunderland, Ilkley, Leek and Nottingham with Henry Normal – and doing a few solo shows in Scarborough, Chester and Lincoln*.

*Please note, other shows are available.

Autumn and Spring shows

News

Thanks to everyone who has come along to my shows so far this Autumn. Most of you have even come back after the interval, which is very kind and forgiving of you.

Next week I’m in Banbury, Stamford, Pocklington, Liverpool and Otley. They’re all sold out, I’m afraid, but there are a few tickets left for the following week – in Caerphilly and Crickhowell. After that, the only other shows with tickets available this year are Frome and Bridport.

And just to say that some of my 2024 shows with Henry Normal are selling very quickly – particularly Exeter, Glasgow, Leeds, London, Nottingham, Oxford, Salford and Bury St Edmunds – so if you’re thinking of coming along to any of those, you may need to get your tickets soon.

A full list of shows – and links to tickets can be found here: https://brianbilston.com/upcoming-events-and-shows/