hair

Footballers’ Hair

Footballers’ hair
floats with the majestic grace of a swan
through the air.

Footballers’ hair
which is unkempt or tousled or dirty
is rare.

Footballers’ hair
bounces and flounces and announces itself
with flamboyance and flair.

Footballers’ hair
makes grown men weep when its lopped off locks
lie abandoned by the stylist’s chair.

Footballers’ hair
is brushed and blow dried and brylcreemed
with care.

Footballers’ hair
when muddied from footballs is the cause
of despair.

For footballers’ hair
is more hallowed and holy
than the Lord’s Prayer.

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Beards

Beards grew on men’s faces,
inched past belts and braces,
slithered over shoe laces,
spread across floors,
crept under doors,
stretched across streets,
became entwined and entangled
at all kinds of angles
’til the ground disappeared,
drowning in beard.

Oceans got clogged
and mountains hogged
by the hirsuteness
that took rootness
as attempts to halt
the barbate bombardment
proved fruitless.

No glimmers of hope,
no trimmers could cope,
the vanity of humanity’s
destruction impending;
a hairy tale ending.