Orpheus and the Umbroworld

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

Orpheus descends
into the umbroworld

of trackie bottoms
and replica tops,

ragged running shoes
and knee-length socks,

skeleton racks
of shell-suited overstocks,

and sidesteps
the slow shuffle of dead souls

with their tatty dreams
of sunday morning goals,

deadly crossfield passes
and hacky sack skills.

He slays three-headed
Cerberus behind the tills,

who blows bubble gum balloons
from three sullen mouths,

and finds sweet Eurydice
wrapped up in sports towels.

Unlooking, he unravels,
unfetters, unfurls,

ushers her back through
the aisles of Sportsworld,

past gumshields and goggles
and tennis ball canisters,

under the Gods’ watchful eye,
Nike and Adidas.

But, in the security screen
on the threshold,

the face of Eurydice,
he accidentally beholds

and she is suddenly gone
from him forever,

lost in the folds
of a thousand

golf umbrellas.

Do not go, lentil, into that good pie

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

Do not go, lentil, into that good pie
Lest it should burn not bake upon the tray,
Rage, rage against the oven turned too high.

Soybeans and chickpeas may also die
For the pulses quicken upon their way,
Do not go, lentil, into that good pie.

The pastry turns crisp and black as the night
And the scarred legumes turn to darkened grey,
Rage, rage against the oven turned too high.

And so we, like pies, when the end draws nigh,
Have charcoaled remains grieved, too, in a way,
Do not go, lentil, into that good pie.

No, do not go, lentil, into that good pie.
Rage, rage against the oven turned too high.

When I’m Gone

Assorted Poems, Selected poems

When I’m gone
from this world
let them say:

“He never quite managed
to seize the day.

He fought but failed
to keep shyness at bay.

He was unlikely to star
in Fifty Shades of Grey.

But he could stack
a dishwasher
in an efficient way.”