Hard Brexit. Soft Brexit.
Quick Brexit. Slow Brexit.
Smooth Brexit. Rough Brexit.
Damp Brexit. Moist Brexit.
Fat Brexit. Thin Brexit.
Sliced Brexit. Ground Brexit.
This Brexit. That Brexit.
Black Brexit. White Brexit.
Ant’s Brexit. Dec’s Brexit.
Which Brexit. Why Brexit.
Rich Brexit. Poor Brexit.
Wet Brexit. Dry Brexit.
Broke Brexit. Bruised Brexit.
Clothed Brexit. Nude Brexit.
Doomed Brexit. Dead Brexit.
Brave Brexit. Weak Brexit.
Tim Brexit. Pam Brexit.
Bruised Brexit. Broken Brexit.
Arthouse Brexit. Absurd Brexit.
Sponge Brexit. Punk rock Brexit.
Donald Brexit. Brexit Brexit.
Please marrow me, my beloved sweetpea,
so that we may beetroot to our hearts.
Lettuce have the courgette of our convictions
and our love elevated to Great Artichoke.
Don’t leek me feeling this way, my dear,
such lofty asparagus can’t be ignored.
I am a prisoner, trapped in your celery;
Don’t make me go back to the drawing broad beans.
We all carry emotional cabbage:
love is chard and not inconsequential,
but may our passion be uncucumbered
so that we reach our true potato.
Oh, how your onions make my head spinach,
reduce me to mushrooms, broccoli, defenceless.
Only you can salsify my desire,
and I, in turnip, will radish you senseless.
love poem, inadvertently written with auto-carrot switched on
There is a beauty
that walks in the darkness,
makes its way
among the bombs
and broken lives,
and shoulders to cry on,
puts on kettles
mends what it can,
for not one thing back,
as it wraps
in its arms
the troubled night,
and its pale sunlight.
How blessed am I
to live beneath a strong and stable sky
and the warmth it enables me
from a sun that shines down,
strongly and stably.
Me, with these strong and stable legs,
that take me past the queues
of people – long unable to be fed –
waiting to give thanks
outside the strong and stable food banks,
and beyond where the library once was,
now strongly converted
to stable a private medical centre,
that makes the sick (but financially abler)
stronger and stabler.
And further on, the school
strongly lacking in staple equipment –
whiteboards, books, teachers –
all signs of a strong and stable commitment
to the dismantling of lives.
I thank the government
for such strong and stable times
then wander to the park, alone,
pausing to watch a cricket match.
I bend to sit upon the bench,
and fall through its rotted slats.
This social movement protest is brought to you
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putting the pop into popular demonstrations
If all that shouting is making you hungry,
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Stay fresh and youthful
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cleansing tyranny since the Ancien Régime .
We hope you enjoyed this protest brought to you
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but before you go, why not enter this survey
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a better world, free from injustice and lies.
Terms and conditions apply.
Back in the White House
from the club house,
he would tell tales
of eagles and albatrosses
and the swagger
of his stroke play.
Hoping to blind
by kicking up sand
from his bunker,
out of the rough,
of eighteen holes
and the ball’s
We interrupt this poem to bring you reports
of an explosion
of wild untruths and other signs that the news
Early indications from those who were first
on the scene
have led to widespread fears of another Sweden
or Bowling Green
and that peace might erupt at any moment
in other places.
It is believed that amongst the rubble of reality
were found traces
of humanity and an understanding that stretches
Many experts predict this will lead to a new wave
of presidential orders
for such trumped-up charges form part of
a familiar pattern.
But back to the poem: we’ll bring you more news
as it doesn’t happen.