Dr Trump’s All-Purpose Miracle Cure

High temperature? Continuous cough?
A stubborn fever you can’t shake off?
Does it feel like you’re at death’s door?
Try Dr Trump’s All-Purpose Miracle Cure™.

DEVELOPED in conjunction
with THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF QUACKERY,
(not to mention several large daiquiris),
and FORMULATED by bogus MEDICS,
it will give you INSTANT relief
from the MOST DEADLY pandemics.

Is your throat as sore as hell?
Lost your sense of taste or smell?
Feel a pressure on your lungs?
From the makers of Dr Trump’s Magic Sponge™ …

Dr Trump’s All-Purpose Miracle Cure™
UTILIZES the latest in CURE TECHNOLOGY,
its SECRET FORMULA perfected through centuries
by APPALACHIAN monks,
schooled in the MYSTERIES of HEAT and LIGHT
and the RESTORATIVE POWERS of bleach.

Are you worried that it’s the end?
Can’t see that you’ll ever mend?
Think you’re going to die for sure?
Dr Trump’s All-Purpose Miracle Cure™

is CLINICALLY PROVEN
to improve recovery times from death,
and is almost a cleaning,
working up to FIFTEEN SECONDS FASTER
than other less miraculous cures.
It can be YOURS for as little as $174.95.

FREE Dr Trump BASEBALL CAP with every purchase.

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