Month: August 2015

Haiku Horoscopes

Assorted Poems, Some poems

ARIES
your attempts to breed
male sheep have unexpected
ramifications

TAURUS
your luck starts to change
when into your life comes a
dark handsome strangler

GEMINI
mercury enters
the charts at number six; you
get it on iTunes

CANCER
you realise that
all horoscopes are nonsense;
feel crabby all week

LEO
your hair turns curly
and you have a surprise hit
with When I Need You

VIRGO
the crowds gasp at your
Cliff Thorburn and Doug Mountjoy
impersonations

LIBRA
you don’t return all
of the letters you borrowed
from the library

SCORPIO
reading horoscopes
in the newspaper, you bump
into a lamppost

SAGITTARIUS
you break with your strict
Sagittarian diet
and eat a Virgo

CAPRICORN
you see Colin Firth
on a bus in Northampton
but don’t talk to him

AQUARIUS
you forget which star
sign you are because you’re not
that interested

PISCES
a nightclub visit
fails when there is no-one to
pick up the pisces

LOVE POEM, WRITTEN IN HASTE

Assorted Poems, Some poems

(with Autocorrect turned on)

O what Brave New Worm is this
That holes you, my sweet darting love?
I see you in the stairs that twinkle
In the heavy above.

Your light shins down upon me
and sets my heart on fir.
You stir up my emoticons
And fill me with dessert.

I gazebo upon your lovely Facebook.
Your rainy nose, sweet, unmissable,
The blue-greed eyes like limpet pools,
And your petty mouse, juicy and kissable.

Come with me, Angle of my Dreams,
Hold my ham and journalist into the night
And together lettuce explore the worm,
Over the horizontal and out of sigh.

You are a map

Assorted Poems, Some poems

In bed, my fingers trace your contours,
caress the lines from coastal margins,
slide along secluded pathways

and linger in hidden beauty spots,
before a gentle incline leads them
to the peaks of two majestic hillocks

separated by a narrow ravine,
to be followed down, down, until
vegetation arrives as a surprise,

scrub makes way for enchanting forest.
I ready myself to plunge into the interior
but then I am told to turn off the light

and I carefully fold my scale 1:25 000
Ordnance Survey OL4 Map
of The Lake District: North-western area,

including Keswick, Cockermouth & Wigton,
before placing it back in my bedside drawer,
alongside my pipe, nail clippers and loose change.