Crimeweave

upon retiring
from the mafia,
Don Corleone
wove aquatic mammals
out of raffia

i learnt this news
when he made me an otter
i couldn’t refuse

The Day We Argued About Roman Numerals

Of that day when we argued,
my memory is VIVID;
I, for one, remained CIVIL
but you ended up LIVID.

She blew her fusilli,
my pretty penne,

when she found me watching
daytime tagliatelle.

Je ne spaghetti rien,
I responded in song,

but she did not linguini
for long,

just walked out
without further retort:

a hard lesson to be tortellini,
orzo I thought.

And so here I am
on my macaroni

and now my days
feel cannelloni.

Surveying his handiwork,
Terry realised he’d made a mistake
in buying Italy for Jo’s Christmas present.

Not only did it take ages to wrap up
but she was bound to guess what it was
by its distinctive boot-like shape.

He now also needed to get a bigger tree.