Job Interview with a Cat

Tell me, what is it about this position that interests you? 
The warmth, perhaps? The security? 
Or the power you must feel by rendering me useless? 
Feel free to expand if you wish. 

I see you have had experience of similar positions. 
Can you talk about a time when you got somebody’s tongue? 
Or were set amongst the pigeons? 
Tell me about a time you’ve had to deal with a difficult situation –
for instance, have you ever found yourself in a bag?
If so, how were you let out of it?  

How would you feel if you had to walk on hot bricks?  
What about a tin roof of similar temperature?  
With reference to any of your past lives,  
has curiosity ever killed you? 

Finally, where do you see yourself in five years’ time? 
In the same position? Or higher up to catch the sunlight? 
What’s that? You would like to be where I am now? 
Oh, it appears you already are.