Message to the 14-Year-Old Me
Believe in yourself.
You can do anything you set your heart on –
except A level physics, perhaps.
Well, all the sciences really.
DIY is a bit of a no-no, too.
See also: driving; skiing; map reading;
cooking pasta in the right quantities;
relationships; origami.
Don’t even think about running
your own business. Or singing in tune.
Best to steer clear of all activities which require
good hand-eye coordination.
Forget ice-skating, tending house plants,
dealing with spiders, the correct spelling of the word
‘enjambement’. I could go on.
But do not despair – for given time
and with a little luck on your side –
you can achieve a basic level of competence
in a limited number of simple, unremarkable things,
you just need to believe in yourself.
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Great advice, too late. Oh, well.
I’m still hoping the 14 year old me will read it once the World Wide Web has been invented.
Hahaha!
Perhaps a timely reflection?
Without a Keir in the World
Without a Keir in the world
There might be no queues
To get into cross channel boats
Or to have your case heard in the courts
Without a Keir in the world
Refugees might get to choose
Where they lived and went to work
Instead of being forced to “shirk”
Without a Keir in the world
We might get reform in that “other place”
And some people might Mone
Like dogs losing a bone
Without a Keir in the world
Taxes would still not be put to good use
And the rises would still be gReeveous
But maybe they’d not try so hard to deceive us
Without a Keir in the world
Questions would still go unanswered at PMQs
And good men and women would not face
Losing the whip for not knowing their place
Tell the truth
I can’t imagine
A world without Keir
Things are Badenoch already
Iain M Spardagus
6 February 2026