As many of you know, I will be embarking on a tour over the coming months, on which I shall be reading some of my poems in front of mildly perplexed and bewildered audiences around the UK. I thought I would take this opportunity to answer some of the most common questions I get asked in response to this news.
1. Will books be on sale – and will I be signing them?
Yes, the plan is to partner with a local bookshop wherever possible and have them on sale at the event. I have made a note to bring a pen with me should anyone want their copy signed.
2. Will I actually be visible at the event or do I plan to read the poems behind a curtain / wear some elaborate disguise such as a giant papier-mache head?
Unfortunately, I will be present and visible at all events. Tickets have been discounted on this basis.
3. Are you intending to be two and a half hours late for all your events, like you were for that one in Glasgow the other week?
No, it is my intention to be on time for all future events, despite travelling by network rail to most of them. I am factoring in a cushion of 72 hours into my journey times to offset any rail delays.
4. Will I be accompanied by my cat?
Sadly not. Buttons, the beautiful cat who appears on many of my author pics passed away 18 months ago. While I now have two new cats, both seem keen to distance themselves from my work, preferring the poetry of Simon Armitage and Carol Ann Duffy.
5. Will I read that poem about the Daily Mail?
Almost certainly.
6. Cornwall?
This is not really a question as such, more just a place-name followed by a question mark. The same goes for ‘Scotland?’, ‘The North-East?’ and ‘Melbourne?‘. If the question is “Will I be doing any shows in Cornwall (Scotland, the North-East, Melbourne etc)?” then the answer is that I would love to, but I’m all booked up for 2023. Over time, I’d like to read my poems in all sorts of places. Even the Isle of Wight.
7. Are there tickets still available?
About half the shows are now sold out – and some are close to selling out – but there are currently tickets still on sale for the following (in chronological order): Swindon; Portsmouth; Worcester; Morecambe; Buxton; Lytham St Anne’s; Kendal; Sheffield; Sale; Banbury; Caerphilly; Crickhowell; Clevedon; Bellaghy; Cheltenham; Frome; Chippenham; Bridport; Southampton.
Information on all the shows are available through the link below:
8. I am a policeman. How likely is it that I will find myself bitten if I attend one of your events?
That incident is behind me. I have learnt my lesson the hard way. Please be assured that precautions are now in place to prevent any recurrence.
Thanks very much and hope to see some of you in the course of the year.
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Two consecutive mailings from Bilston Office! Ambassador, you are spoiling us. Re: 2. Would you like to borrow my Noddy Holder boxhead? ð My friend Ellie has it at the moment (pictured). As manufactured at a Tatvision craft event. Another local hero – what with Cold War Steve and Joe Lycett too, the West Mids am slowly tekkin ova, ay it? Thanks again for coming to Bilston. Not many visit, and not many return, despite the lure of the orange chips. Really enjoyed your readings and was pleased to see you were appreciative of Nick Drake when you kindly signed my book. All good wishes for your future dates. Kiki x
Ha! Love it. Thanks, Kiki – and up the West Midlands massive (have no idea what that means)
any chance of crossing the pond and coming to somerville…home of marshmallow fluff/boston MA?????
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I’d love to at some stage, Barbara. I’ve been to Boston many times, but never on reading poems duty.
I hope you will come to York sometime.
Evelyn
Sent from my iPhone
I do, too.
Even the Isle of Wight?…
Seriously it would be great if you could make it here.
When are you coming to Canada? Have you looked into providing zoom or some-such web product so we-from-away can join in the performance? (You can sell tickets to those who want to view web-wise.) Your work hits me like a spring rain on a hot spring day – so refreshing! Thank you.
Thanks, Elda. No plans as yet for events outside of the UK. The economics of that may not be straightforward. But that’s a good idea about zoom. I don’t organise these events myself but will put it to the people who do!
Glad to hear that! I know there is a lot of fear and distrust about technology ‘out there’ but my 40-years experience in the field is confident all that will fade rapidly when the joyful artists and the tool builders connect. Thank you.
Hope the Netherlands will be on the agenda in the future!
I hope so, too!
Hi Brian
Love the poems and can’t wait to see you at the Seamus Heaney HomePlace.
I have most of your books already but not signed and I hope I can get that rectified on the night.
I love the poem ‘For I’ll follow you’ – would there be any chance of a wee handwritten copy?
Thanks, Kieran. Looking forward to that trip. And yes, very happy to sign books on the night. I’ll do my best to remember to scribble that poem down for you, too. It’s mercifully short.
Thanks for that Brian. I’ll be there on the Thursday night. Can’t wait!!
Kieran
Hi Kieran, I’m so sorry about last night. I had completely forgotten about this conversation! I’d happily post you a handwritten copy of this poem – just let me know where to send it! Thanks – and sorry again! Brian
Hi Brian
I absolutely understand! It was usch a great night!! The poetry and the way that you weaved it all together was brilliant. I’ve been to many different poetry events in the Seamus Heaney Centre and that was one of my favourite events. I’d love it if you do get a chance to get a written copy of that poem. I just love the content of it and what it says to me.
My address
9 Hillside Avenue
Dunloy
Co Antrim
BT449DQ
Thanks again for a great night.
Kieran
Thanks, Kieran. That’s very kind of you. And I’ll get a copy of that off to you just as soon as I get a chance. Take care.