This was the year that was not the year

This was the year that was not the year 
I repaired the bathroom tap 
and emptied out the kitchen drawer 
of a lifetime’s worth of crap. 

This was the year that was not the year
in which I launched a new career. 
A West End hit eluded me 
as did Time Person of the Year. 

This was the year that was not the year 
I became a household name. 
Action figures were not sold of me.
I wasn’t made a dame. 

This was the year that was not the year
I spent less time on my phone. 
A night of passion did not happen 
in a boutique hotel in Rome. 

This was the year that was the year 
I didn’t get that much done –
much the same as the year before, 
much like the one to come.