Unhappy Birthdeity

Despite what some think
It must be a little deficient
To be God of the Universe,
Omnipresent and omniscient.

I mean, for a start,
You would always know
When some of your mates
Had decided to throw
A surprise party
To mark the occasion
Of the 13.8 billionth birthday
Of your creation.

It wouldn’t be hard
To make that deduction
Given the big increase
In candle production.

And you’d always know,
No matter the packing,
What the gift was
That you were unwrapping.