He did not know
whether to pronounce it
“either” or “either”;
so, in the end,
he said neither.
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Twittle Poems
Anthem for Doomed Ruth
It was Ruth’s own fault,
to tell you the truth;
she smoked like a chimney
and then fell off the roof.
How Walter would cross a busy road
He would stride
through a subway
and barely falter
but, for some reason,
a bridge over-troubled Walter.
MONETISATION
The ad said
MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS
so he thought
he would respond
by painting them
in the changing light,
like waterlilies
in a pond.
I’ve Never Seen Game Of Thrones
I’ve never seen
Game of Thrones.
To me, it’s one
of those known unknowns.
Does it rhyme with “scones”
or “scones”?
Sometimes I feel so alones.
My Gravestone in Five Words
And here’s another of my “poems”, imagined by @new_toon
The challenge here was to think of what you might have inscribed on your gravestone in five words.
The Mistake
Sometimes, kind and clever people on Twitter people do things with my poems. Here’s one of two wonderful cartoons by @new_toon
elephant
the real elephant
in the room,
if you do beg my pardon,
was why you didn’t
keep your elephant
in the garden
word swallowing
it was like
she’d swallowed
the dictionary
not because of her
voluminous vocabulary
and vaniloquent verbosity
but the fact she had
an abnormally ample
Adam’s apple
Smoking Jacket
I bought a smoking jacket
As I thought it would amaze her
But she just got some matches
And turned it to a blazer.
