turned off my phone and radio
got rid of my tv
ran barbed wire around the house
yet still i am not free
matt hancocks in the sitting room
matt hancocks in the loo
matt hancocks in the kitchen drawer
i don’t know what to do
there’s six of them beneath the stairs
in the fridge another ten
my house is getting overwhelmed
by underwhelming men
i think i may have lost my mind
i see them every place
just yesterday i stroked the cat
she had matt hancock’s face
filled gaps in all the skirting boards
laid poison in the hall
set traps involving bits of cheese
but nothing works at all
matt hancocks haunt my dreams at night
wake up screaming yet again
my mind is getting overwhelmed
by underwhelming men
Brian Bilston's Poetry Laboetry 
Brilliant, Brian! What I found most bizarre and a little scary is this was the advert that was chosen for your poem. Talk about life imitating art!
https://simplisafe.co.uk/
Perfect material for a new poem here? The best adverts work on fear. Thanks for helping to bring light into these dark times.
How funny! Although I do loathe the ads that appear on these pages. Think I need to fork out some money to get them removed.
Just brilliant…. Why can we not get away from this man??????
I’ve just found another one sleeping in my sock drawer.
This is fabulous – all summed up perfectly in the final two lines! 🤗
Sent from my iPhone
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Being a clueless American I don’t know if the Matt Hancock you are referring is the Stephen Hunt’s character in “ Neighbors” or Matthew John David Hancock, your Secretary of State for Health and Social Care.
I think the two may be interchangeable.
Brilliant, as ever, Brian. 😂 I have downloaded an app that warns me of his near presence. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work. Bloody Serco.
Ha ha! Hope all is well, Alasdair.