Instructions

Please choose the haiku
which applies the most to you.
Choose two get one free.

I

Subbuteo man.
Legs broken. Re-glued twice.
A fragile sadness.

II

A leaf, desolate,
wind-blown, stuck to the back of
Bruce Forsyth’s toupée.

III

A note left hanging
in the cold night air, dispatched
from a flugelhorn.

IV

Unclaimed bag revolves
on a lonely carousel
A hopeless case.

V

Empty, vacant box
in someone else’s org chart.
Never to be filled.

VI

Imperfect haiku,
starts off quite well but ends one
syllable short.

VII

A tranquil puddle
into which splashes one of
Clarkson’s driving gloves.

VIII

A semi-colon
in a place where it really;
has no place to be.

IX

Reality show
contestant on a journey
back home to Skegness.

X

A smell which lingers,
vaguely reminiscent of
Adrian Chiles’ socks.

XI

The forlorn pathos
of an abandoned crossword
in a bin in Fife.

XII

A bag of Quavers,
offering cheesy comfort
but steeped in staleness.